Function Health Review: I Let a Startup Company Analyze 113 Biomarkers
Let’s be real—navigating the world of health and wellness in the U.S. can feel like wandering through a maze blindfolded, especially when you factor in the broken healthcare system and confusing insurance coverage. That’s probably why more and more people (myself included) are turning to self-guided health solutions to figure out what’s really going on inside our bodies.
For me, the tipping point was stress. Years of it. Trauma early in life left me mentally exhausted, and although I’d done a lot of inner work to heal emotionally, I realized I hadn’t paid much attention to my physical health. Was my cortisol out of whack? Were my adrenals toast? Was I just hormonally imbalanced, or was there something more? That’s when I found Function Health.
This article is my honest Function Health Review, while also answering common questions such as: How much does function health cost? Is function health covered by insurance? What does function health do with your data? Is function health worth it?
Function Health Review
The Testing Process: What It’s Like
Once I signed up for the Function Health membership, I was prompted to answer a brief but surprisingly thoughtful questionnaire about my health history, lifestyle, goals, and any major concerns. It felt refreshingly intentional—like they actually wanted to tailor the experience to me, not just spit out generic info.
From there, I chose two dates for bloodwork. Why two? Because I was instructed to time them with my menstrual cycle to get the most accurate hormonal read possible. Each session involved about 8 to 9 vials of blood, which sounds like a lot, but the experience was honestly smooth. The phlebotomist was kind, professional, and made the process easy.
What’s cool is that Function Health partners with Quest Diagnostics for all their testing, which means you’re not being sent to some sketchy clinic—you’re going through one of the most established testing networks in the country. Convenient, legit, and widely available.
The real kicker? They test for 113 biomarkers. Not just the usual “Are you alive?” blood panel your doctor orders once a year, but a full workup of your liver, kidneys, hormones, thyroid, blood, heart, and even your aging process.
You also get a downloadable PDF with all your lab results—great for sharing with your doctor or just nerding out on your own.
READY TO GET TESTED? HERE IS YOUR LINK TO IMMEDIATELY GAIN ACCESS TO FUNCTION HEALTH.
When the Results Hit Your Inbox
After my second round of bloodwork, the results started trickling in—and honestly, it was fascinating. Each biomarker came with an easy-to-understand explanation of:
- What it is
- Whether I was in or out of the optimal range
- What could be causing any issues
- What to eat, avoid, or supplement to fix it
Unlike those baffling lab results from a doctor’s office that leave you Googling for hours, this felt like someone sat down and broke everything down just for me. The supplement and nutrition recommendations were spot on and made me feel way more in control of my health.
Also worth noting: You can tack on extra tests if you want deeper insights into hormones, cancer markers, Alzheimer’s risk, thyroid function—you name it. It’s a build-your-own-lab experience, and that flexibility really sets it apart.
My Personal Results: The Good, the Bad & the Curious
Okay, here’s the jaw-dropper: My biological age came back as 22.6 years young, that’s 15.5 years younger than my actual age. Let me say that again—fifteen point five years younger. If that’s not a confidence boost, I don’t know what is.
Out of the 113 biomarkers, 100 were in range and 13 were out. Most of the issues were nutrition-based, with one thyroid marker and a few cholesterol flags. I jumped into action right away—adjusting my diet, upping my fiber, and paying more attention to fats and activity.
What really stood out was that my hormones, insulin, and cortisol were all solid. That alone made the entire experience worth it. I had been worried something serious was lurking, but getting that reassurance was a massive relief.
Oh—and I found out my blood type. Never knew it before! Kinda wild that we can go decades without that info, right? But now I know, and it’s another piece of the health puzzle.
The Downsides: Clinical Notes & Communication
Now, for the not-so-glowing part. The clinical notes (basically the deeper analysis from a healthcare professional) took much longer than expected. It was a total of 30 days after the last biomarker rolled through. I had to follow up multiple times, which felt a little frustrating.
And when the notes did arrive? Meh. They clarified a few things, but honestly felt rushed. I wanted more insight, especially about the biomarkers that were out of range. It was helpful, but not as thorough as I’d hoped. A more personalized breakdown here would go a long way.
I told you this is a very honest function health review, not going to sugar coat the not so great parts.
How much does Function Health cost?
Function Health costs $499 for the full testing and analysis package. While that might sound like a lot, it’s actually pretty reasonable considering the number of biomarkers tested (113!), the personalized insights, the supplement and nutrition guidance, and the downloadable lab reports. Plus, compared to seeing multiple specialists or getting custom lab tests a la carte, the price feels fair.
Is Function Health covered by insurance?
Nope—Function Health is not currently covered by insurance. It’s a cash-pay service, which means you’ll be footing the bill out-of-pocket. But if you’ve got an HSA or FSA, you might be able to use that. Definitely something to check with your plan administrator.
What does Function Health do with your data?
According to Function Health, your data is encrypted, secure, and only shared with you. They don’t sell your information, and you have full access and control over your results. Everything is HIPAA-compliant, so your data stays private. Still, as with any health tech company, it’s a good idea to read through their privacy policy if you have concerns.
Is Function Health worth it?
In my opinion—yes, absolutely. If you’re someone who wants to understand your body better, get ahead of potential health issues, or just get reassurance that you’re on the right track, it’s 100% worth the investment. The experience gave me peace of mind, practical tips, and motivation to keep improving my health. And knowing I’m biologically two decades younger? That’s a flex I’m keeping.
Final Thoughts: Would I Recommend It?
Absolutely. Despite the slow clinical notes, I genuinely feel like Function Health delivered on its promise. It gave me a bird’s-eye view of my internal health, actionable steps to improve, and reassurance in areas I’d been worried about for years.
If you’re someone who likes taking control of your own wellness, who doesn’t want to rely solely on doctors for answers, and who enjoys data-driven insights—Function Health is for you. It’s not perfect, but it’s pretty darn close.Getting to know what’s happening inside your body shouldn’t be a mystery. And now, for the first time in my life, it’s not.
There you have it, my honest function health review! Let me know in the comments if this is something you would try?
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